I Quit!!!

Some days I just want to quit my job! The only problem being that my 5 little employers won't let me. You know those days that everything goes haywire. The days that the to-do list requires about 30 hours of work and has to be done in the next 24 hours. The days when all the kids do is fight, hit, whine and complain. The days when you clean one room only to move to the next and find a bigger mess. Oh, and when you go back into said clean room, it no long is. The days when you bust your butt to do something nice and no one notices, much less says "Thank you". Yep, that's today.

Today's the day that I wish I didn't have kids to take care of, clean up after, etc. Today's the day that I wish I could have my life back to myself so I could have a clean house and do my own thing.

So here's my confession...I told the kids I quit and that since I'm no longer a Mom, I don't have to take them to Disneyland. So as they all lay in their beds crying, I sit on my butt blogging and having my little "therapy session". The only thing I'm lacking is some chocolate and a Diet Coke. Oh, and a husband. I'm sure I shouldn't be hating his calling, but after 3 years of him disappearing every Wednesday night, I'm getting really sick of it.

There. I said it. Maybe now I can start to feel better.

I don't really want to quit being a mom, but sometimes my old life sounds pretty darn good. What's funny is that being a mom was all I ever wanted. hahaha. Little did I know what I'd be getting myself into. But I wasn't really planning on having so many kids either. What was I thinking? This is nuts. We had 5 kids in 6 1/2 years on top of Dave's 3 that were already there. Who in their right mind would have done what we did? I just hope that Heavenly Father has some sort of plan on how I'm supposed to do all of this, because I'm out of ideas. But given all that's happened in the last 2 months, I think He may have forgotten who I am. I thought we had something going, but then right when I thought I was doing what He wanted me to do, I get the carpet pulled out from under me. So now I don't quite know what to think. What was I feeling when what I felt was a "yes" turns out to be a big fat "NO!" Why does life have to be so hard?

And now I've said the rest of it.

Maybe now I can have some peace knowing that when I wake up in the morning it will be a new day. I can hope that someone notices and appreciates what I do. I can hope that there are no fights and that when I clean something, it will stay that way. That when I pray, they don't just bounce back off the ceiling. That my kids will actually do what I ask them to do, when I ask them to do it.

Then maybe I won't want to walk out on my job. Hey, I can dream, can't I?