Another New Year

It's hard to believe another year has passed. They seem to be flying by now faster than ever which leaves me wondering if its just because I'm getting older or if time really is speeding up. 2010 was a good year. Seth was baptized, Tiara started Kindergarten, Dave and I were able to take another cruise together. Life has been pretty good. Which leaves me a little nervous for what 2011 has in store for us. Do you ever feel like things are going just a little too smooth and there must be something big lurking in the waters ahead? That's how I feel. I get scared when we're on auto-pilot. So instead of waiting for Heavenly Father to throw me a curve ball, just to see if I'm paying attention, I try to stay anxiously engaged in a good cause. Maybe that way I keep myself on the straight and narrow instead of needing to be reminded. Sounds reasonable, right? Let's hope so.



Looking ahead this year, Spencer will start 6th grade and Tiara will go to school all day. For the first time in 11 years, I will only have one child at home with me during the day. I'm looking forward to catching up on a lot of the things that have taken a back-burner. I just hope McCall isn't bored being the only one home. Other than that, I don't foresee anything big happening. Now if it will only stay like that...

Christmas

Christmas Day came and went so quickly. It's much like expecting a baby -- You plan and prepare for so long and then the baby grows so fast that you don't have time to really enjoy it being a baby. After weeks of planning and shopping and wrapping, it was over in mere minutes. Sort of. We did something different this year, mainly because we had Dave's boys in the morning. Matt had asked for an electric guitar, Dalin and Jackson just wanted gift cards so they could do their own shopping. That doesn't make for a very exciting Christmas morning. The little kids had asked for several smaller toys which amounts to lots of presents for them and not for the big boys. After having lived through the torture of having to watch my Dad's younger kids open present after present while I sat there with my 3 shirts, I was determined to never put Matt, Dalin and Jackson through that. So Dave and I devised a plan. Santa left everyone their stockings on the couch upstairs, along with a couple of gifts. His boys got what they had asked for and our kids each got a new shirt and a toy. We then got dressed and went to breakfast at Village Inn. It was nice to not have to make anything (or clean up). We ate and visited and then we headed back home while the boys went to their mom's house for round 2. Once we got home, the kids discovered that Santa had left some more presents under the tree for them. They were so excited to see more and know that Santa had come again. It's amazing how many presents a kid can get when they only cost $10 or less. It was fun to watch as their little faces got excited with each gift. By the end, I felt like Santa had way over done it again and had to remind myself that he hadn't. This year Santa spent less on the younger kids than ever before. And nobody noticed. In fact, I felt better about it than any other year. I am so grateful that we have the means to provide a lot of the extras for our kids, but the last thing I want to do is spoil them. I've always believed that its good for kids to want for something. Although I'm not sure they do. They have such a better life than I did growing up. I will forever be thankful for how blessed we are and for the life that we have.

We're Off to See the Wizard

Tiara and McCall had their dance recital last Friday. I love the studio they go to for several reasons, but one of the best things they do is to put on a full ballet every Christmas. This year they did Wizard of Oz. As usual, it was amazing. With about 250 students, I have no idea how they manage to do it all, but it was spectacular. Tiara was part of the lollipop league in Munchkin land. She did fabulous and had so much fun. She is turning into quite the little dancer. McCall was one of the tigers, you know, as in lions and tigers and bears..Oh My! Each of the three preschool ballet classes took one of the scary animals. She did pretty well for her first recital. She was often not where she was supposed to be and was a little bit behind the other girls in the dance, but she had so much fun. I just had to remind myself that this was her first year and I couldn't expect her to do much different than she did. I love that both girls love to dance since I always did and it was such a passion of mine. It's fun to watch them grow and progress and to think about all of the fun years we have ahead.

Birthday/Senior Trip/Disneyland

So much for doing better. I really am trying to be a better blogger, but sometimes life is just CRAZY!! Earlier this month we took off to Disneyland. The purpose of the trip was to celebrate Matt's Senior Year and upcoming graduation, but since we left on Dec. 3rd (McCall's 4th birthday) she was sure it was for her birthday. I must confess that I let her think we were doing it all for her. What does she know about graduations anyway? I just hope she doesn't expect this every year, because she will be very disappointed.


We celebrated her birthday at the McDonald's in Cedar City with "Tangled" cupcakes. She was in heaven all day with Disney princess everything...dolls, movies, dressups, cupcakes. And knowing she was going to Disneyland the next day, it didn't seem to bother her that she spent her birthday in a carseat.

Because of school schedules for the 3 older boys, we had to make it a quick trip, but it was fun nonetheless. We also had to do Disneyland over a weekend, which isn't my favorite. I've always loved how quiet it is during the week when all the locals are at school. But even with the larger crowds, it still wasn't bad and we seldom had to wait more than 30 minutes for a ride. Monday was much quieter and we did every ride we wanted to without much wait at all.



On the way back, the kids and I stopped by to visit Grandpa Herm and Teri while Dave drove straight through with his 3 kids. It was a nice visit, although ti's hard to see my grandpa getting older so quickly now. He is almost 90 and seems to be aging faster than ever. It makes me so sad to think that one day he'll be gone, but at the same time I feel so lucky to still have him here. He is such a blessing in my life.

I Quit!!!

Some days I just want to quit my job! The only problem being that my 5 little employers won't let me. You know those days that everything goes haywire. The days that the to-do list requires about 30 hours of work and has to be done in the next 24 hours. The days when all the kids do is fight, hit, whine and complain. The days when you clean one room only to move to the next and find a bigger mess. Oh, and when you go back into said clean room, it no long is. The days when you bust your butt to do something nice and no one notices, much less says "Thank you". Yep, that's today.

Today's the day that I wish I didn't have kids to take care of, clean up after, etc. Today's the day that I wish I could have my life back to myself so I could have a clean house and do my own thing.

So here's my confession...I told the kids I quit and that since I'm no longer a Mom, I don't have to take them to Disneyland. So as they all lay in their beds crying, I sit on my butt blogging and having my little "therapy session". The only thing I'm lacking is some chocolate and a Diet Coke. Oh, and a husband. I'm sure I shouldn't be hating his calling, but after 3 years of him disappearing every Wednesday night, I'm getting really sick of it.

There. I said it. Maybe now I can start to feel better.

I don't really want to quit being a mom, but sometimes my old life sounds pretty darn good. What's funny is that being a mom was all I ever wanted. hahaha. Little did I know what I'd be getting myself into. But I wasn't really planning on having so many kids either. What was I thinking? This is nuts. We had 5 kids in 6 1/2 years on top of Dave's 3 that were already there. Who in their right mind would have done what we did? I just hope that Heavenly Father has some sort of plan on how I'm supposed to do all of this, because I'm out of ideas. But given all that's happened in the last 2 months, I think He may have forgotten who I am. I thought we had something going, but then right when I thought I was doing what He wanted me to do, I get the carpet pulled out from under me. So now I don't quite know what to think. What was I feeling when what I felt was a "yes" turns out to be a big fat "NO!" Why does life have to be so hard?

And now I've said the rest of it.

Maybe now I can have some peace knowing that when I wake up in the morning it will be a new day. I can hope that someone notices and appreciates what I do. I can hope that there are no fights and that when I clean something, it will stay that way. That when I pray, they don't just bounce back off the ceiling. That my kids will actually do what I ask them to do, when I ask them to do it.

Then maybe I won't want to walk out on my job. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Escape

Anyone that knows me, knows that I LOVE to travel. It doesn't really even matter where, just as long as it involves a nice hotel room and good food. None of that camping stuff for me. If there isn't a bed, bathroom and maid, it ain't for me. Kids tend to slow down the travel thing. Either you have to take them with you and it becomes a trip, not a vacation, or you have to find some poor soul willing to take over the tough job of mothering while you're gone. My mom became that poor (or brave) soul this week. She came and stayed with the kids while I ran away with Dave. He had a conference in Midway and it seemed like a great opportunity to escape. We had never been to Zermatt before, so didn't quite know what to expect. OH MY GOSH!! Had I known how nice it was, I would have suggested more than just one night. Midway is a beautiful place to begin with, but the resort is fabulous and we had a gorgeous one bedroom condo, too.

We enjoyed a nice dinner in Heber and then a relaxing night back in our room. Sometimes it's just so nice to escape the reality of life, even if it's only for a day. Having alone time with Dave is a huge booster shot for me and I love the times that we get alone together. Each time we do, it reminds me of all the good things that made me fall in love with him to begin with. He is my best friend and the one person in this world that I lean on when life gets hard. It's too bad that it takes a trial or vacation to make me realize how much I love him, need him, enjoy him and appreciate him, but sometimes it does. The last two weeks have been especially hard for me and have shaken me up quite a bit, so to have this escape was badly needed. I'm just glad that he stands by me through everything. He is my rock and my blankie. I can't imagine life without him by my side.

Today was back to reality and I wasn't ready. I love my kids, but nothing makes me love them more than being away from them for a little while. Now if I could just remember that when I come home...

All Dressed Up

With Halloween on a Sunday this year, we celebrated Halloween for days leading up to the real thing, which turned out to be just another day. Wednesday was McCall's party at school. She is loving preschool this year and is so excited to go each week. She came home with the first of several bags of cavity-causing candy that made their way into our home. She loves all the Disney princesses, but her latest fave is Ariel. She was very specific in how she wanted her costume to look, including the fin! She couldn't quite figure out how to get her legs to disappear and truly be a mermaid though.

The parade at the elementary school was on Friday with class parties following. I love watching the kids walk around in their costumes with their friends. They love the sugar cookies, root beer and candy they get in class. Tiara has afternoon kindergarten, so she was able to watch the parade in the morning and then go to her own parade in the afternoon. She managed to find several of her friends at the morning parade and invited them all to come sit with us. Being a cheerleader was perfect for her as she organized her own cheering section for her brothers!I got to go help with the parties in both Seth's and Tiara's classes. It's always hard to figure out how to help with parties, so I was glad that Tiara's was in the afternoon and I could squeeze in two classes. The down side was that I spent my entire day at the school. Oh well, one less day I have to feel guilty about not having a spotless house!

Saturday was a party at the TaeKwonDo school. All of the kids were able to go and they had fun playing games and showing off their costumes...AGAIN. Since we live in "Mormon Country" everyone went trick-or-treating on Saturday night. Spencer went with his best buddy, Porter. Between their neighborhood and ours, these boys came home with almost 7 pounds of candy each!The rest of the kids went out with Dave. It was a rainy night, so I was more than happy to stay home, watch the Utah game, and give out candy. McCall tired out before the others, so Dave came home for a shift change. (Really he just wanted to watch the game.) I went out with Seth, Davis and Tiara until the boys got tired and we headed home. About this time, Spencer & Porter showed up and I went with them and Tiara to hit a few more homes. Tiara is a die-hard! She could have gone another hour if everyone hadn't turned out their lights. I can't believe that girl! She did almost as well as Spencer bringing home a whopping 5 pounds of the sugary stuff.

I just can't wait until it's all out of the house. I'd love to have the kids eat it all so I can brush their little teeth and not have to worry about constant sugar in their mouths.